Author: Tio Wally

Tio Wally is pilot emeritus of the 75-foot, 40-ton land yacht SS Me So Hungry. Now a committed landlubber, he reports on food wherever he is whenever his fancy strikes.

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Tio Wally Eats America: Jerry & Sal’s

I’m happy to have Tio Wally (long-time Me So Hungry reader) aboard to send in his eating adventures from across America. Here he is at Jerry & Sal’s in Hanover, Pennsylvania.

Greetings from Hanover, Pennsylvania
N 39° 48.602’  W 076° 56.6333’  Elev. 609’

It’s Little League World Series time! As a result, the SS Me So Hungry’s crew is on a night-driving schedule so that, if they can stay awake, they won’t miss a game. But because the land yacht is equipped with an electronic log, there’s very little cheating that can be done as far as movement of the vessel. That’s when the illustrious crew gets creative; actually we consult certain GPS features and cast our fate to the wind.

And so it was today. I don’t know why but whenever I’m in the Northeast I jones for Hot Italian Sausage and Peppers. And tonight my jones was exacerbated by extreme fatigue, hunger and a need to watch the games.

I love good Hot Italian Sausage. But it’s hard to find really good ones. The best I’ve ever had is from Spencer’s Fresh Market, a small San Luis Obispo County, California grocery chain. They make their own complete line of sausages, although many of them are a little too designer-foofy for my taste. Besides, if you’ve got Hot Italian what do you need any other kind for?

So I fired up the GPS and called the nearest place on the list in hopes they’d deliver to a land yacht. You’d be surprised at the number of places that won’t deliver to a land yacht because it has no actual physical address. Credit cards, begging and pleading will not change their “policy.”

(Hell, you can’t even order after-hours at many McDouche’s or Jack In The Cracks unless you go through the drive-thru. While there are ways to get around it sometimes, mostly through the kindess of strangers, it’s pretty freakin’ annoying because it’s so breathtakingly stupid. Can’t they see a land yacht won’t fit in their puny-assed drive-thru!?! Morons.It’s made all the more so when you’re starving. Hell, I’ve been so pissed off by company-policy adhering twits that I’ve been tempted to go ahead and drive through. Unfortunantely some people, who shall remain nameless, frown on massive property damage claims. Go figure.)

So tonight I called the first place on the list, La Cucina  (496 Eisenhower Drive) and quizzed Armando. Yes, they deliver. And yes, they make sausage and peppers. Score! But no, not tonight. Turned out La Cucina is moving 500 feet to another building and Armando only answered the phone becuase he thought “it was one of his guys.” But all hope was not lost, he said. There was another place nearby that delivered that was “in the family.” Did he have the phone number? “Well, let me see,” he says, and puts me on hold. A minute later he apologetically admits that the place was in such disarray that he can’t find it.

Thankfully a noted graphic-artist friend on the other side of the country found the number on the InterTubes for Jerry & Sal’s Pizza  (1155 Carlisle St.). I called them and found that J&S makes an Italian Sausage and Peppers sub. But I want pasta, too. In short, they made me a special order of S&Ps with extra sausage. The sausage was really good, if only it had been of the “hot” variety. But that wasn’t somethng red pepper flakes couldn’t fix. Moreover, the pasta was cooked perfectly.

It came with a really refreshing salad of Romaine lettuce and Roma tomato, with the house balsamic viniagrete dressing. and some crusty Italian bread. That bread was so good it deserved to be dipped in a really fine olive oil.

Total cost: $11.61; free delivery with $9 minimum though I tipped the delivery guy $5. I figured they made my night so I’d make his. Hopefully it started a never-ending chain reaction.

And so we roll.

Jerry & Sal’s Pizza - N Hanover Mall. Hanover, PA 17331

Tio Wally pilots the 75-foot, 40-ton(max) land yacht SS Me So Hungry. He reports on road food from around the country whenever parking and InterTube connections permit.

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Tio Wally Eats America: Ryan’s Family Buffet

I’m happy to have Tio Wally (long-time Me So Hungry reader) aboard to send in his eating adventures from across America. Here he is at Ryan’s in Effingham, Illinois.

Greetings from Effingham, Illinois
N 39° 08.466’  W 088° 33.435’  Elev. 669’

Although I can’t really eat all that much, I try to go to all-you-can-eat buffets whenever possible. Not only do I enjoy the variety, it gives me an opportunity to power down on vegetables.

I usually go to a Ryan’s weekdays between 1-3 p.m. when I can because, for some reason, during the day the good folks there think I look and/or smell like a senior citizen, thus I get the senior lunch. It costs about $6.50 and includes a drink.

Being a weekend, and because I’m on a night-driving schedule for the next two weeks to allow watching the Little League World Series on my satellite TV, I went for dinner and, lo and behold, the fountain-of-youth effect kicked in again and I had to pay full fare.

This particular Ryan’s (1102 Avenue of Mid America) is pretty popular with the land-yacht crowd. It’s easy-in/easy-out, and there are a number of truck stops and a Merchant of Death (WalMart) nearby. This allows truck drivers to get a lot of things accomplished in a short period of time, which is very important due to Department of Transportation (DOT) Hours of Service regulations.

Ryan’’s always has some sort of promotion going on in addition to their regular fare. Lately it’s been Shrimp 5 Ways; butterfly, buffalo, popcorn, coconut and shrimp scampi, which is actually a sautéed shrimp and pasta affair.

I went for the butterfly and coconut shrimp, which was good but nothing to write a message in a bottle about. I also had some fried chicken — drumsticks so I can read while I eat — which is always really, really good.

One of Ryan’s signature things is fresh-from-the-oven yeast rolls. They serve them while they’re still warm with Sunnyland Honey Spread™, a mock honey-butter that’s quite good. These puppies are fluffy, golden brown and highly addictive. That’s why I only have them bring me one.

As for vegetables, I had some baked beans, steamed cabbage and fire-roasted yellow squash., While the squash was a bit undercooked (Ryan’s always undercooks its squash, broccoli and cauliflower, which always bears mushy) it was quite tasty yet crunchy. I also had a spinach, spring mix and beet salad with a raspberry vinaigrette, also quite tasty.

Something I hadn’t seen or noticed before that was a real standout was a bean salad that consisted of black-eyed peas, baby lima, white, pinto and red beans. Unlike a three-bean salad, it wasn’t at all vinegary yet still slightly sweet. Better still, the beans were crunchy. Great flavor, great texture. a little hill of beans that really amounted to something.

All Ryan’s have an in-house bakery and a decent selection of desserts. They also all have soft-serve ice cream. But some of them also have hand-scooped, hard-pack ice cream, and this was one of them. In addition to the regular fare (chocolate chip cookie dough, strawberry, and orange sherbet) they always have a wild-card flavor. Today’s was black walnut. Boy, was that good.

All in all not a bad meal for about $10.

And so we roll.

Ryan’s - 1102 Ave of Mid America. Effingham, IL 62401

Tio Wally pilots the 75-foot, 40-ton(max) land yacht SS Me So Hungry. He reports on road food from around the country whenever parking and InterTube connections permit.

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Tio Wally Eats America: Johnson’s Corner

I’m happy to have Tio Wally (long-time Me So Hungry reader) aboard to send in his eating adventures from across America. Here he is at Johnson’s Corner in Johnstown, Colorado.

Greeting from Johnstown, Colorado!
N 40° 21.777’  W 104° 58.908’  Elev. 4976’

When I was growing up my Mom used to say that if you wanted good food go to a truck stop. Well, it’s a myth. The truth is that the truckers eat there for one simple reason: They can park! Thus, the number of trucks at a truck stop has absolutely nothing to do with the quality of the food but rather the size of the parking lot.

As a rule, if you want to find good food ferreted out by truckers, look for trucks parked in unlikely places. It usually turns out that the greater the effort they expended to park, the better the food.

But there are truly notable exceptions. And since it was just a few miles out of my way I decided to go have lunch at Johnson’s Corner (2842 SE Frontage Rd.).

I hadn’t been here for eight years or so. I used to stop here all the time as the food was always really good and fairly reasonably priced. I also liked the fact that it was such a funky, clean-but-rundown place. It had so much class that you had to sit in the well-worn “ass-dentations” in the seats of the booths just right to get comfortable.

It turned out the food was as good as ever but, much to my dismay, they remodeled a couple of years ago and got rid of all the funk. And it was funky.

Originally built in 1952, Johnson’s Corner was a landmark place as it was located in the middle of nowhere roughly halfway between Denver and Cheyenne. A couple of years later the Interstate was built and, voila, instant gold mine. Of course, it also helped that there was nothing else around.

They’re supposedly most famous for their homemade cinnamon rolls. As I’m not a cinnamon-roll fan I’ve never had one. But you can’t miss them when they serve them: they measure (conservatively) 6-inches square and about 4-inches high. They could be fairly characterized as “big.”

But what’s really good there, and often overlooked, I think, is the soups. They’re all made from scratch and now they have a cook who’s rather inventive, according to the waitress. I kind of had to agree.

I got Chili Blanca with my meal. They called it a soup but it wasn’t soupy at all. It was made with white beans, chicken and some sort of chili pepper; judging by the color and flavor I’m thinking it was those real long semi-hot banana peppers, definitely not jalapeño. Needless to say, it was really, really good, flavorful with enough bite to make it interesting.

For the entree I ordered Meatloaf ($11.99 w/tax) and, although I was technically a little early for them, a baked potato. I’d had the meatloaf before and remembered really liking it, and wasn’t disappointed this time. It has big pieces of onion and bell pepper in it and, I think, stewed tomatoes. It was good and it was a lot. Two meals!

While all of their food is really good, another standout meal there is their Roast Beef. Why they call it “roast beef” is beyond me as it’s actually shredded pot roast, piled high on white bread, with brown gravy. And if you get mashed potatoes with it they serve them old school: A scoop of smashed taters on a piece of white bread smothered in gravy. Seriously, how can you go wrong with starch on starch smothered in gravy thickened with starch?

Though I didn’t order any, they also have great desserts, especially the pies. Everything is made in-house from scratch and the portions are extremely generous.

I guess this place has been featured on the Travel Channel, Food Network, et al. Nevertheless, I highly recommend Johnson’s Corner. Although it’s not as funky/charming as it used to be, the food is still great. And the view of the Rockies ain’t bad either.

And so we roll.

Johnson’s Corner - 2842 SE Frontage Road. Johnstown, CO 80534

Tio Wally pilots the 75-foot, 40-ton(max) land yacht SS Me So Hungry. He reports on road food from around the country whenever parking and InterTube connections permit.

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Tio Wally Eats America: Hacienda Real

I’m happy to have Tio Wally (long-time Me So Hungry reader) aboard to send in his eating adventures from across America. Here he is at Hacienda Real in Fort Collins, Colorado.

Greetings from Fort Collins, Colorado
N 40° 34.819’  W 106° 00.509’ Elev. 4951’

The hold of the SS Me So Hungry is rather pungent today. A skid (pallet) of beer (5% Chelada Bud Lite) fell over. As a result, we’re docked (read: beached) in Fort Collins until the good folks at Anheuser-Busch sort it out.

So what is Chelada? I have no idea. The can says it’s crap beer mixed with Clamato®. I do know that when the cans are punctured, they spew like little rose-colored geysers. Very festive-looking but very smelly when it gets on you. I also know that in 12 years of hauling stuff around I’ve never hauled a beer I would drink. This is no exception — and I like red beer.  Am I bitter? Yes.

Fortunately I found a place to park across the street from Hacienda Real (CO 14 & I-25), which bills itself as a Family Mexican Restaurant. I’m suspicious of Mexican restaurants that feel the need to tag “family” or “cuisine” or, worse, “grille” onto its name. Another thing that makes a place suspect is decor that’s too thematic, too clean. It’s usually a tip-off that the food is going to be a step up from Taco Bell in authenticity.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that the food here is actually pretty good. It was a pleasant evening so I dined on their patio, even after being warned about the mosquitoes. Having just walked across the highway and not encountering a single skeeter, I toughed it out through my mosquito-less meal.

I ordered a Chile Relleno and Tamale plate. I ate the Relleno and was pretty full, so ended up with a Tamale meal out of the deal. Although the chips were commercial as opposed to homemade, the salsa was pretty good, which is always an indication of how the foods going to be. Another pleasant surprise was that they served the chips with bean dip (actually refried beans). The tamale turned out to be surprisingly meaty, though I can’t tell if it’s beef or pork.

All in all I was pretty happy with the food. Turned out to be a good $10 meal for what could’ve been a real disappointment.

I was also able to snag a couple of treats during my forced hiatus that are hard to find, especially at a reasonable price. The first was Swiss brand Southern Style Sweet Tea. If I’m lucky enough to find sweet tea in a half-gallon size it’s usually full of citric acid. I hate citric acid. I don’t want lemon — especially phony lemon — in my sweet tea. I found it for 87¢ at the Merchant of Death aka WalMart; more about them later.

The big score, however, was Odwalla Carrot Juice. I found it at Safeway for $5.10 “club price.” Another really good carrot juice is Bolthouse, but it’s really pricey. Curiously, the carrot-juice concentrate in Odwalla’s is from Bolthouse Farms in Bakersfield, California. I know this because I’ve seen their trucks being loaded when I picked up there. The 55-gallon drums of concentrate I dragged away went to some subsidiary of Campbell’s for making V-8 Juice, among other things.

And so we roll.

Hacienda Real – 421 Centro Way (CO14 & I-25) Fort Collins, CO 80524-9283

Tio Wally pilots the 75-foot, 40-ton(max) land yacht SS Me So Hungry. He reports on road food from around the country whenever parking and InterTube connections permit.

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Tio Wally Eats America: Galena, MO

I’m happy to have Tio Wally (long-time Me So Hungry reader) aboard to send in his eating adventures from across America. Here’s his introduction.

Greetings from Galena, Missouri!

N 36° 47.079’ W 093° 30.350’ Elev. 885’

By way of introduction I am Tio Wally and I am a truck driver. While some may call the vehicle a semi, a tractor-trailer, a big rig or an 18-wheeler, I like to think of it as a land yacht. Jason is graciously allowing me to contribute to his blog and, better yet, has granted me the privilege of piloting the SS Me So Hungry around the country and file road-food reports. (Those of you with some nautical knowledge know “SS” is the universally recognized abbreviation for Steamship. In this case, however, it stands for Street Scow as this craft has a flat bottom and is used for transferring goods from Point A to Point B.)

As this is my maiden Me So Hungry entry it’s only fitting that I tell how I stock the stores for a cruise. I always start with homey things that I just can’t get “out there” like I like them, homemade comfort foods. Lately it’s been Egg Salad and Tuna Salad. It’s hard-to-virtually impossible to find these things on the road that are any good.

If I’m lucky enough to find Egg Salad I usually have to beef it up with mustard (deviled) or dill weed, depending on how I feel. The only Egg Salad I’ve ever found that I don’t have to “enhance” has been the Amish Deviled Egg Salad from Dierdorf’s(?), a St. Louis-area grocery store chain. Tuna Salad is more difficult still as I like it mixed fairly dry with Mayo, red onion, hard-boiled egg and canned peas. Tuna Salad is a pain to beef up as it requires a knife, a can opener, a bowl big enough to mix it in, hard-boiled eggs (good luck finding them), etc. As the galley is rather small in the land yacht, I don’t screw with that stuff anymore. In both cases, when mixing for the road drier always travels better — you can always make it wetter.

Rather than to take up too much of Jason’s space, let’s get right to the pre-roll check list:

Coleman Thermo-Electric Cooler working? Check.
Apple Juice? Check. Unsweetened, generic store brands travel best as sweetening tends to turn quickly;
Water? Three gallons. Running out of drinking water is a serious, serious crisis;
Lay’s Classic Potato Chips? Check.
Orowheat/Brownberry 100% Whole Wheat Bread? Check.
Homemade sandwich fixins? Check.
Baby Wipes? Check. Ah, baby wipes. A miracle product. When you get really tired you can pull one out and wipe your face and neck and … instant refreshment, you’re good for another 50 miles! Also, it’s a little known fact: Those puppies will take grease off of anything! ANYTHING!!
Empty half-gallon plastic jug? Check.

Okay. Let’s go for a cruise.

Tio Wally pilots the 75-foot, 40-ton(max) land yacht *SS Me So Hungry. He reports on road-food from around the country whenever parking and **InterTube connections permit. *Street Scow and **InterTube (aka “the Internet as memorably explained by Sen. Ted Stevens, R-AK”) are his terminology, not mine.