I haven’t had Taco Bell in a long time. I always thought the best thing there was the 7-Layer Burrito, especially when you bite into a pocket of sour cream and guac. Well I ended up at Taco Bell one night and ordered both the 7-Layer Burrito and the new Sriracha Quesarito. The Quesarito was so much better. Just had good flavor. I didn’t need to add the usual necessary hot sauce packets. But I think the Quesarito probably could be even better with some sour cream.
I’m happy to have Tio Wally (long-time Me So Hungry reader) aboard to send in his eating adventures from across America. Here he is in Richland, Washington.
Greetings from Richland, Washington
GPS 46.258787, -119.310578 Elev. 518 feet
A recent YouGov survey found Burger King and Five Guys Burgers and Fries tied for “Best Burger.†Am I missing something? Methinks the BK crowd has never been to a Five Guys.
My daughter once described Five Guys as “The Subway of … wait, that’s a bad comparison. They’re the Quiznos … no, wait. You get to choose whatever you want on your burger. So they’re kind of like Chipotle but it’s burgers instead of burritos. They’re my favorite.â€
With that in mind I went and met Five Guys and their burgers. And they are awesome. A little pricey but awesome. I loved it so much I had to go back again — I was actually jonesin’ for a FGs burger and I’m not a burger guy — with the kids (daughter, son-in-law and grandson) in tow for another fix.
She nailed the quintessence of the place with the selection aspect. There are 15 different options to put on your burger. It could conceivably take you some time to decide exactly what you want. That may be why FGs provides free salted in-the-shell peanuts to fiddle with while you figure it out. I thought that was a great touch because, well, I really like places classy enough to have peanut shells on the floor.
Once you opt your options your burger is made to order. When your burger is finished they put it on a square piece of aluminum foil (a wee bit of aluminium wrap if you’re from the Commonwealth), fold it diagonally corner-to-corner, then corner-to-corner again, give it a spin and, voilà , your burger is encased in what now roughly resembles a metal cylinder worthy of the prop shop for Plan 9 From Outer Space.
I ordered a regular Cheeseburger ($6.49), with mustard, ketchup, mayo, tomato, onion and grilled mushrooms. The older kids ordered Little Bacon Cheeseburgers ($5.79) with various fixins, and regular drinks ($2.19) they got from a high-tech sugar-water dispenser. We also got a regular order of fries ($3.49).
When ordering at Five Guys one needs to know basic things. For example, a regular burger is a double burger; the “little†is a single patty. And a regular size fry will feed three adults.
The fries are great. Skin-on, fried in peanut oil. That they’re served in a paper bag is a nice touch as it soaks up any excess oil. Five Guys may take great pride in their fries. They are great! They even have a sign on the wall informing you where that day’s spuds came from. (The aforementioned survey had McDouches, er, McDonalds fries at number one. Baffling.) And the kids did something I’d never seen before. They added malt vinegar to the little cup of ketchup to cut the sweetness. Brilliant, I thought. And incredibly tasty! Ah, the wonders of ketchup.
The burgers are, I think, nonpareil. All the toppings are free, the burgers are cooked to perfection, the veggies are fresh, ripe, and they have grilled mushrooms — Grilled Mushrooms! It’s impossible to go wrong. But I did, of course. I forgot to ask them to grill the bun. I suspect they would do that for me. Next time.
My son-in-law eats FGs burgers with a knife and fork. He says they’re messy. There could be a reason he thinks this but I dunno. My Punkin’ on the other hand holds her burger with two hands, just like dear old dad. Of course, to be fair, her beard is removable.
I’ve had many burgers in my life, including Back Yard Burgers, which are very similar to Five Guys’, and In•N•Out Burgers. I like FGs burgers better; I’d like them more if they were about a dollar cheaper. I’m still baffled that Five Guys tied with Burger King in the survey; third place for burgers, after Wendy’s(?), was In•N•Out Burgers).
While I may think Five Guys has a better burger than Burger King, the thick, creamy, malty goodness of an In•N•Out milkshake (not rated) was noticeably missing. Oh well.
And so we roll.
Five Guys Burgers and Fries, 2671 Queensgate, Richland, Washington
and 1,000+ locations throughout the United States and Commonwealth member states, like Canada, eh, and the United Kingdom.
Tio Wally pilots the 75-foot, 40-ton(max) land yacht SS Me So Hungry. He reports on road food from around the country whenever parking and InterTube connections permit.
Signs just went up today at White Castle for their new Chicken and Waffle slider. Chicken patty between two Belgian waffles with white gravy and bacon crumbles. Two for $5 or $2.69 each.
The also have a breakfast menu with the waffles. Waffle sandwiches with egg and cheese with a choice of bacon or sausage $1.99. Waffles and Mrs. Butterworth’s $1.69.
I ordered one of the Chicken and Waffle sandwiches. I saw the lady carefully assembling it, neatly wrapping it up and sliding it into a slider box.
It was really good! The white gravy and bacon had a good peppery taste. It kind of was like eating chicken and waffles.
I imagine if they used the chicken breast from their tasty Chicken Breast Sandwiches, it would be even better. I wonder if you can special order it that way. It probably wouldn’t fit into the box though.
I’m happy to have Tio Wally (long-time Me So Hungry reader) aboard to send in his eating adventures from across America. Here he is in Le Roy, Illinois.
Greetings from Le Roy, Illinois
N 40° 20.5266’ W 088° 45.6857’ Elev. 774 feet
It’s been an interesting week-plus since the SS Me So Hungry was finally paroled from purgatory.
We’ve been shut down by 60-plus mph winds in Nebraska and snow twice. The first was in Mishawaka, Indiana. Then again at the scenic Delaware Welcome Center Travel Plaza in Newark, Delaware. Eighteen hours and 11 inches of snow later, we learned that the Delaware Newark is pronounced “New Ark†to make damn sure it’s not confused with that quaint Joisey hamlet up the road.
The unusual thing that’s happened, though, is that we’ve eaten at McDonald’s what seems like every day since we left Salt Lake City. This is quite weird because I’m not particularly a fan of Micky Ds.
I’ve written about McDonald’s before, often derogatorily. But I’m not going to do it this time. After all, I liked the Sausage Burrito. I also like the occasional Sausage McMuffin when they’re only a buck.
It all started in Laramie, Wyoming when, having gone in for a $1 Side Salad and coffee — McD’s has pretty good coffee, especially when it’s “any size for $1†— I noticed a poster in the window announcing “Buy One Get One Free†breakfast sandwiches; according to the poster, the “Buy One Get One†special goes through February 6.
I kind of like the Egg McMuffin. How wrong can you go with an egg, a slice of Canadian bacon, and a slice of cheese between a toasted English muffin? Not very, I’d think (unless your name is Jason Lam, when you and your McMuffin fail the audition and they send you packin’). I never have them because, like most of McDonalds’ food, it’s overpriced. But when they’re two-for-one it’s a little more reasonable. So I ordered one (and got two!) the next morning and enjoyed them immensely.
The next day I stopped at Love’s in North Platte, Nebraska, which has a McDonald’s inside. I just wanted to get something in my stomach so I ordered a $1 McDouble. I often ask if they charge extra for Big Mac sauce when I get a McDouble. A few places don’t — the McDonald’s at Love’s in North Platte doesn’t — but many of them charge as much as 50¢. It’s as if the Big Mac sauce is gold-infused and blessed by Martha Stewart or something.
That night I slept at the McDonald’s in Williamsburg, Iowa. It’s a great place to park because not a lot of people know about it, it’s out of the wind and its located right next to the Tanger Outlets where I can pick up the Tanger WiFi from the yacht.
The next morning I went in to get a couple more Egg McMuffins and a $1 coffee. When I went in I asked the guy if they were doing the “Buy One Get One†deal there. He told me that they were only offering it on Egg McMuffins and the truly abominable Sausage, Egg and Cheese McGriddles. (McGriddles: Yccch! If you haven’t tried one yet: Don’t!) At the other places the offer was for any breakfast sandwich that wasn’t on the Dollar Menu. Whatever. They wanted nearly two bucks for coffee, so I passed on it and skedaddled across the street with my Egg McMuffins, getting coffee (84¢) and a sandwich from Casey’s General Store.
I’m telling you, those Egg McMuffins are pretty good. I’ll never get a handle on McDonalds’ coffee pricing though. I’ve purchased the $2 cups of coffee that cost a buck most everywhere else and I can tell you unequivocally: It’s the same coffee! It’s not that I’m cheap, it’s just the principle.
Next I ended up at McDonald’s in Vineland, New Jersey. I’d gone in for a couple of Side Salads and asked the guy — he turned out to be a manager — if they were offering the breakfast sandwich deal. He didn’t know what I was talking about but said he thought they’d passed out a coupon book recently that may’ve had them in it. He offered to go see if they had any left and, lo and behold, he found one. Nice guy, blue shirt with embroidered Golden Arches, smartly tied tie.
The coupon book included a couple of Buy One Get One Free coupons for Big Macs and Egg McMuffins as well as a host of things you could get free with the purchase of something else. I didn’t know McDonald’s did coupons. Maybe it’s an East Coast thing; on the front of the booklet is “follow us on twitter @McDPhillyâ€. (By the way, all McDonald’s restaurants will accept any competitor’s coupons, substituting a comparable product. McDonald’s desperately needs your money.)
It turned out there was something else I didn’t know about McDonald’s: The corporate behemoth has the ability to seemingly turn on a dime and create promotions at the drop of a hat, or, more accurately, a cold snap. That would be pretty impressive for a company 1/10th its size.
Along with the introduction of the term Polar Vortex to our lexicon has come a new McDonald’s promotion in Illinois (and possibly elsewhere). The deal is that you can get a second Egg McMuffin or Big Mac for the price of the temperature recorded at noon the day before.
So I went into the McDonald’s in Le Roy and a second Big Mac cost 19¢. Being a certifiable Jerk from Hell™ I took issue with this price. I thought 19¢ was a little steep. It didn’t factor in the wind chill. I know for fact that, had they done so, the second Big Mac would’ve been free.
Having been through Illinois too many times, I know that the wind is always blowing. Of course, if you ask any Illinoisan they will tell you the wind never blows, it’s just that Indiana sucks. While it’s true that Indiana does indeed suck big time, and every weathervane in Illinois is forever pointing a damning “finger’ in the direction of the Hoover, er, Hoosier State, I don’t think it’s possible, thermodynamically speaking. Then again, I’ve been to Indiana enough times that it’s hard to discount the possibility entirely.
The girl at the counter didn’t know if they factored in wind chill. She did helpfully point out that if I thought the price was too high I could come back tomorrow. “It was 9¢ yesterday,†she said. “It’s going to be even less tomorrow for sure.â€
I bought the second Big Mac at the grossly inflated price of 19¢. Still, I felt like I was being ripped off. Hell, Big Macs are Two for $4 every day at McDonald’s in Kingman. And that’s in Arizona where it’s warmer!
I find it very baffling that the difference between a McDouble and a Big Mac are rather minor yet they taste completely different. I can get a McDouble with no ketchup or mustard and add Big Mac sauce but it just doesn’t taste like a Big Mac. Yet the only difference is that there is no lettuce and an extra piece of bread stuck in the middle on the McDouble. The only other difference, then, is the bun: the Big Mac is on a sesame seed bun while the McDouble isn’t. Can a quarter-teaspoon of sesame seeds make that much difference? I don’t know.
I do know this though: I’ve been eating way too much McDonald’s. So much, in fact, that I’ve begun calling myself Morgan. Not as in Captain Morgan but, rather, as in Morgan Spurlock. For those who haven’t seen it, Spurlock made the truly nausea-inducing documentary Super Size Me wherein he only ate McDonald’s food for 30 days. I won’t spoil it for you but the result of the diet was less than “pretty.â€
And so we roll.
McDonald’s, 300 Sunset Dr., Le Roy, Illinois and over 1 trillion served other locations
Tio Wally pilots the 75-foot, 40-ton(max) land yacht SS Me So Hungry. He reports on road food from around the country whenever parking and InterTube connections permit.
I’m happy to have Tio Wally (long-time Me So Hungry reader) aboard to send in his eating adventures from across America. Here he is in West Valley City, Utah.
Greetings from West Valley City, Utah
N 40° 41.4874’ W 111° 57.4429’ Elev. 4262 feet
In the 1970s and ‘80s the Southern California-based hamburger chain In-N-Out Burger gave away approximately 2.6 gazillion bumper stickers. But the freebie bumper art giveaway came to a screeching halt when, to the shock and horror of In-N-Out Burger’s fundamentalist Christian owners, the burger chain finally figured out why every rapscallion with a razor took such great delight in modifying them, albeit ever so slightly.
The bumper stickers featured the chain’s iconic yellow arrow logo on one side with its “Quality You Can Taste†slogan superimposed over it. Next to it was “IN•N•OUT†stacked above “BURGERâ€. Rascally SoCal kids wasted no time cutting off the first “B†and last “R†in “BURGER,†altering the message to read: “In•N•Out URGEâ€.
Presumedly the company — and at least one breathtakingly clueless columnist for a Pasadena-area newspaper — originally interpreted the modest alteration to be quite innocuous, that it meant little more than an “urge to have an In-N-Out Burger.†When the company discovered that the universally accepted meaning was slightly different, however, the hijinks was viewed as nothing short of blasphemy and the bumper sticker giveaway ended in short order. Not a big surprise given the religiosity of In-N-Out’s owners; to this day they discreetly embed references to Bible verses on its packaging.
I seldom eat at In-N-Out Burger. Every time I do I remember why I don’t: They’re not really that special. Don’t get me wrong. They’re good, high-quality burgers but not that good. Indeed, I still think the best burger I’ve ever had on the road came from Mr. Fuel. It was a double cheeseburger, offered as one of its monthly $2.99 (sandwich, chips and 32. oz drink) specials. Then again, maybe I was just extremely hungry. Nevertheless it was memorable burger, which is saying a lot considering I’m not really a burger guy.
In-N-Out Burger has had the same menu since it was founded in Baldwin Park, California in 1948. They offer burgers, French fries, and beverages (sodas, shakes, lemonade, iced tea, milk, and coffee). That’s it. Period. My brother claims that the extremely limited menu is what helps them keep the quality so high. Of course, they also use fresh, quality ingredients and attract quality staff by paying well-over minimum wage.
The chain enjoys an almost cult-like following of rabid, vocal devotees who claim it makes the “Best Burger†and has the “Best Friesâ€, etc. One recent survey of “Best Burgers in America†listed In-N-Out at #2; Five Guys Burgers and Fries came in at #1. One place where In-N-Out is indisputably #1 is that it was the first drive-thru to use a two-way speaker system. “Welcome to In-N-Out Burger. May I take your order?â€
The most popular item at In-N-Out is probably the #1: Double-Double®, Fries and Medium Drink ($6.40 + tax). The cost of this combo always intrigued me. You see, if you ordered all of the items separately it would add up to exactly the same amount. I always order the #1 but substitute a $2.05 shake for the $1.50 soda.
The Double-Double® consists of two meat patties, two slices of American cheese, leaves of iceberg lettuce, and slices of tomato and onion (grilled, if you want), served on a toasted bun dressed with In-N-Out Spread (essentially Thousand Island dressing). It adds up to quite a substantial stack.
The fries are hand-cut, using only fresh Kennebec potatoes. In-N-Out used to make great hay of the fact they used only Kennebec taters. Now they only flog the fact that they use fresh potatoes. I suspect the reason for this subtle change is that it raised too many questions from unnecessarily quizzical customers, you know, Jerks-from-Hell™ like me: “What’s a Kennebec? What makes it different? What kind of potato does McDonalds use? Would these be considered ‘health food’ fries? Can I substitute onion rings?†Such unwanted questions definitely slow down the line. I know this firsthand because I’ve done it, a few times. And In-N-Outs are extremely busy, high-volume places.
But are the fries good? Yeah, they’re okay, especially if you get a couple of packages of In-N-Out Burger Spread to dip them in. But I’m not really a french fry guy.
The shakes on the other hand are, I think, pretty damn special. Although the strawberry ones are delicious, I usually get a chocolate; they also have vanilla. The big boast In-N-Out makes about its shakes is that they use 100% Real Ice Cream. But there’s something different about the chocolate ones. They taste sort of malty. And they’re thick and wicked good. I always blow it when I do the substitution, though. You can get a larger size shake; I suspect they will just charge you the 55¢ difference. But I always forget, resulting in another “D’oh!†moment every time.
I learned something new about In-N-Out Burger while writing this, something that I was aware of but didn’t know all the ins-and-outs of until now. I’ve known for years that In-N-Out has a Not-So-Secret Menu: they’ll chop and/or grill onions; make an Atkins Diet-friendly Protein® Style burger where they wrap the burger in a leaf of lettuce instead of a bun; make a 3×3 or 4×4 (three and four hamburger patties, respectively), etc. My big discovery — made too late, of course — is that In-N-Out makes Animal® Style burgers and fries.
The Animal® Style burger is described on the In-N-Out website as a “burger of your choice with hand-leafed lettuce, tomato, a mustard cooked beef patty; add pickle, extra spread with grilled onions.†Lest you missed it, it’s a MUSTARD COOKED BEEF PATTY! That sounds great!! But why am I just learning about this now? Where have I been?
Perhaps I just don’t speak to enough In-N-Out Dweebs (I think that’s what In-N-Out Burger zealots are known as) who know all the ins-and-outs of In-N-Out. Maybe I just need to get out more. I guess I’ll now have to put Animal® Style Double-Double® on my list of things to remember to order — along with a larger shake — next time I visit an In-N-Out Burger.
And so we roll.
In-N-Out Burger, 3715 South Constitution Blvd., West Valley City, Utah
and 289 other locations in Arizona, California, Nevada, Texas and Utah.
Tio Wally pilots the 75-foot, 40-ton(max) land yacht SS Me So Hungry. He reports on road food from around the country whenever parking and InterTube connections permit.
You’ve seen the commercials for the Wendy’s Pretzel Pub Chicken Sandwich, right? It looks good. Or at least interesting. I saw it one late night when I was drunk and immediately emailed the publicist that had just wrote me about it. I said I want it and she said okay. It was that easy. I’ve never asked before. I didn’t know you could do that.
So I got $5 gift card in the mail. Headed over to the Wendy’s on 5th Ave near the Empire State building, but it was so packed. The line was insane. The next day, I went to the one on 14th St near Union Square. No line. I walked right up to the cashier.
Unfortunately, the sandwich alone was about $6 after tax. I guess that’s Manhattan pricing. So I owed a dollar. But it was weird, because I got a bunch of change back from the coin dispenser.
I sat in Union Square and opened it up. Looked good. The pretzel bread was soft and had a crusty bottom. Tasted almost like Chinese bakery bun bread. Not so much like how I imagined a pretzel bun would taste like. But it was a really good sandwich. I like it a lot. Seemed like quality ingredients. Sauce was tasty. A really good chicken sandwich.
I’m already a big of Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Sandwich. Had it very often in college. I should try the Pretzel Pub with Spicy Chicken next time.
I had a hankering for some hot wings. I noticed that there was a BBQ joint near my work that had big signs that said they won the Best Wings in NYC in a contest. I figured I’d try it. It wasn’t that amazing though. Nothing to write home about. But they did have a decent beer special.
Then when I walked back to work, I passed by McDonald’s. I like their sign for the new limited time Mighty Wings. Looks pretty good. I ordered a three piece. At this Manhattan location, they were $3.49 plus tax. More than a dollar a wing. Um, that sounds expensive for a chicken wing. Well, I guess you gotta kill a whole chicken for two of them.
Dang, they were pretty dang good wings. Not like buffalo hot wings, but dried and fried. Like a cross between Chinese take-out chicken wings and something that Popeye’s and KFC might make. Really darn good wings, even if they weren’t wet. You can pick a sauce though, but it’s the same stuff that comes with McNuggets and it didn’t help the wing any.
These wings were a lot better than the wings that won Best Wings in NYC. So may I be so bold to say that the best wings in NYC are at McDonald’s?
I’m happy to have Tio Wally (long-time Me So Hungry reader) aboard to send in his eating adventures from across America. Here he is in Hesperia, California.
Greetings from Hesperia, California
N 34° 25.657’ W 117° 22.561’ Elev. 3,489 ft.
I’ve always liked Quiznos. They make a lot of really great sandwiches, my favorite being the Turkey Bacon Guacamole. It was also the first sub shop where toasting the sandwiches was de rigueur, part of its cachet, its claim to fame. Moreover, they are always pretty consistently high quality.
I always chuckle when I think of the fact that Quiznos has cost Subway, the sub shop that still hasn’t figured out how to make a decent sandwich, a fortune by forcing the low-budget, sub-par sub shop to buy a bunch of toaster ovens. It hasn’t helped them improve the sandwiches, of course, but it sure as hell slowed things down in a hurry.
Being unquestionably objective and unduly unbiased, I have to make an uncharacteristically astute observation here: Subway has become as ubiquitous as McDouche’s. And since its founding in 1965 it has yet to produce a single decent sandwich. Not one. That’s quite a remarkable accomplishment. I guess this somehow helps explain why I have a Pavlovian response every time I see Subway’s “Subway Subway Subway†logo on those blue exit information signs I mutter aloud “Sucks Sucks Sucks.†Moving on ….
Lately the “Mmmmm .. TOASTY®†sub shop has been running a “for a limited time†promotion introducing its new Pulled Pork sandwiches, selling a small sandwich for $2.99. In another effort to fulfill my life-goal of an All Pork Diet I figured I’d give them a try.
Quiznos is offering two different versions of the sandwiches: A Southern Pulled Pork and a Spicy Pulled Pork. The Southern BBQ Pulled Pork just comes with cole slaw and their “Signature†BBQ sauce. The Spicy BBQ Pulled Pork however comes with bacon, cheddar cheese, cilantro-jalapeño cole slaw, and BBQ sauce. They usually serve the Spicy on jalapeño cheddar bread but I got it on wheat. Had I known at the time that it’s normally made with jalapeño cheddar bread I would have gotten it.
Right out of the gate there are a couple of problems with the sandwiches. First off the pork is kind of a mix of pulled and chopped. Secondly it’s too skimpy on the meat. I don’t know how many eighth-ounces of meat is on the sandwich but it isn’t enough. Everybody knows that if you’re eating a pulled pork sandwich and you’re not dropping meat everywhere there isn’t enough meat on it. C’mon, Quiznos, don’t use a gram scale to weigh meat for a pulled pork sandwich.
The Southern version was just strange. The cole slaw on it had a weird vinegary taste. I thought it would’ve been sweet slaw like they use everywhere else. But no. I ate about half of it and had to toss it. Although the meat and sauce is passable, the slaw just made it too weird. Then again, maybe it was just bad slaw; I bought the sandwiches at different locations.
The Spicy one on the other hand was actually quite good. I was kind of suspicious at first because it seemed like it was going to be a real collision of flavors. I was surprised that the combination works pretty well together. It’s not really spicy though. I guess I expected it to have sort of a kick. And while the cole slaw was delightfully crunchy it didn’t really taste of either cilantro or jalapeño. Still, if it had a little more meat on it it would be a pretty good $3 sandwich.
As part of the promotion Quiznos gives you a scratch-off card with every sandwich. The valuable prizes you can “win†with a sandwich purchase are: a dollar off a regular or large sub; a regular fountain drink; chips and a regular fountain drink; or a cookie! Evidently I hit the jackpot as both of my tickets were for a dollar off. Woo hoo!! Now I can get a discount on a Turkey Bacon Guacamole.
And so we roll.
Quiznos Subs, nationwide
Tio Wally pilots the 75-foot, 40-ton(max) land yacht SS Me So Hungry. He reports on road food from around the country whenever parking and InterTube connections permit.